I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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