I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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