I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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