I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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