i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Banned from zoo.
Again?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
