I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
