I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
