Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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