I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
