u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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