Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
