Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
