Duck Duck Cougar?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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