Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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