just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
organizing the empties. That sober.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
