and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
soo... how was my night?
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