I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize