what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
