so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize