You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
