i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
