...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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