I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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