The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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