Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
