Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
