I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
