i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
