Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she told me i tasted like america
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
