I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
