I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
