i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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