You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
