I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
