just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
