But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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