Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
