he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just found puke in my bra..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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