She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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