"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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