Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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