you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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