I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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