i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
