remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
