i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize