I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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