Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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