Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
