Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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