found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
