When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
