i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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