The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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