I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
