what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
