I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
birth control should be required to get into college
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize