Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
