For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize