He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
