I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
