I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Randomize
