i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize