I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
