What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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