um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
